Guts
by Niacin
Summary: Regulus had always been observant. Severus had always loved Evans, of that Regulus was sure. Now the dark lord was after Evans' family. Regulus himself no longer had the guts to serve the dark lord. With Severus on his side he would make Voldemort mortal again. AU
1. Chapter 1 prophecy

I kept my head low, frantically trying to shut down all mental processes in my head. I willed all thoughts away and tried to keep my mind eerily empty. Voldemort could not find out what I had just realised. I was no longer alone. I was sure of it, as I was sure Severus would no longer follow the mad-men who was at the point of killing his former love.

I smirked. Voldemort would never understand love or friendship.

Voldemort was furious and I felt relieved when he ended the meeting. As Severus apparated away I grabbed his sleeve. We stood in Spinner's End. I turned up my nose. It really was a horrible place.

Severus looked pale and was shivering and sweating at the same time. He had trained his wand on me by instinct, but lowered it as he recognised me. "Regulus," he drawled.

I smile. "Now, my old friend, we have something in common."

Severus looks at me confusedly. He wearily takes a step back. "I am in no mood for mind games, Reg," he snaps at me.

"I know you are upset," I say. I slowly twirl my wand. "Lily Evans never was just some mudblood girl."

Severus gives me a furious look. "I could not care less about her fate. If the dark lord has to.. kill her then so be it. She was dead to me the day she started dating Potter."

I smirk at him. He might have fooled the others, but I had known him to well at Hogwarts. He won't forget the first person who was kind to him, not with his crappy past. "Sure, that was why you were ogling her at her wedding and I found you the next morning in the middle of a few bottles of firewhiskey."

Severus stiffens a bit.

I stop twirling my wand and conjure some of the old wooden chairs from Severus' home towards us and I calmly sit down as does Severus. "You know I am a good friend. After all I gave you sobering potion."

Severus glares at me. "What the hell do you want, Regulus?"

I smile. Behind his intimidating look I see his weariness. Good. "I found out a precious secret of our dark lord and I thought you could be of assistance. Voldemort hurt a good friend from me as well."

Severus frowns. "I had not known. Who?"

I give Severus a warning glare. "Kreacher."

Severus gives me an estranged look. "Have you gone mad like your sister?"

"Don't compare me to Bella," I snap. "Kreacher is worth my anger. And I wanted out ever since I joined Voldemort. I wish I had stood up for myself. Hell, I wish I had just gone to Swiss to apprentice as a healer."

Severus looks mockingly at me. "Let me guess, you just wanted to make dear mother proud."

I glare. "You might have gotten rid of dear Evans, but I am still here."

"Shame," Severus says snidely, but the venom seemed gone. "So what did you find out about our dark lord."

I swallow. "He made a horocrux."

Severus harshly breathes in. "Then he achieved what he always spoke about. Our dark lord is immortal. You are a fool to oppose him!"

I glare at him. Doesn't he get it? We could be heroes. We could do the right thing for once. Maybe when this was all over and we'd make it out alive, Lily would deem him a glance! My stomach churned at the thought of following the dark lord any longer and causing more bloodshed. It never was my cup of tea. "And what will you think after Voldemort has killed of precious Evans? Will you still follow him?"

Severus stands up. He looks extremely agitated. "Look, I'll just ask him to spare her. He wants to kill the boy. I don't care, let him. And he can torture Potter for all I care and-"

"Don't you get it?" I interrupt him. "He tortures his own followers. He'd kill any of us without so much as a glance. Do you really think he'd care about the former love of one of his trusted death-eaters?"

Severus starts walking back and forth. "We'd be fools-"

"No," I scream. I had not intended to exclaim it so loudly. "We'd be fools not to." I then lower my voice. "You are my most trusted friend, Severus. Hell, you are an incredibly accomplished wizard. Voldemort would be a fool to underestimate us."

Severus looked at me shockedly. I call Kreacher. "It's time," I say as confidently as I can muster. I feel myself spinning as Spinner's End becomes blurry.


	2. Chapter 2 Cave by the sea

The cave by the sea

The weather is awful. As the waves break it makes a loud sound and large water drops soak our cloaks. A harsh wind chills me to my bones. "I hope this is not your idea of a nice vacation," Severus sneers.

I clench my wand. My hands feel cold and start to feel numb. "Well," I drawl, "It makes you realise a nice holiday to the cote d'azure would be nice, would it not?"

I can feel the dark magic oozing and I am sure that I have to go into that cave. I jump into the freezing water and I immediately feel my heart beating erratically. At least the cold drives away all thoughts of fear as the painful, sharp cold takes up my mind. I reach the cave and climb onto the slippery rocks. I turn back expecting Severus to still stand at the exact place where Kreacher had apparated us, but his wet hair clamps to his pale face as he is swimming determinedly through the large waves. As he comes close I grab him by the arms and pull him onto the rocks.

Severus is breathing harshly. I cast a drying spell on us and then cut my arm with a quick swish of my wand, having had a little time to grow sure of this being the only way closer to the horocrux. I heal my arm and then feel a shudder down my spine as I see the inferi in the lake. For now, it seems they are sleeping.

I grimly look at Severus, who nods at a sunken boat. Severus is studying the boat, while I still look feeling slightly horrified at the inferi. I then force myself to look away from all the inferior that float in the water and look at Severus, who with a switch of his wand conjures the boat. "I think only one is allowed."

I enter the grim-looking boat and as it courses towards the green-glowing island. There was no way I could grasp my wand even tighter and I felt rejected by the little comfort it gave me. Then I saw Kreacher was close behind me. I smile grimly at him. "Master wants me to drink the potion?"

I sigh. "No, I need you to ensure I drink every bit of that potion." I swallow. I had never seen Kreacher that upset. Not even if mother threatened to behead him as she had with some former house elves. I was not putting Kreacher through that again. I was not like the dark lord. "I want you to take the locket to Severus and help him destroy it. You need to do whatever Severus wants you to."

Kreacher looked upset. "Master should not drink the horrible concoction. Kreacher would feel terrible. Kreacher has always taken good care of young Regulus. Kreacher will drink horrible concoction again for his favourite master."

I smile at Kreacher. It would be so easy to take the offer, but something in me stays strong and refuses. "No, Kreacher, mind my orders."

Kreacher dejectedly bows down.


	3. Chapter 3 Potion

It tasted incredibly foul. I started to loose awareness of my surroundings as I felt a coldness ripple my skin. With a gasp I took another large gulp of the concoction. I felt an insane thirst grow for water while dread was creeping up on me. I felt my body starting to quiver as I drank as much of the potion as I could in one go with my eyes shut as tightly as I could.

I felt horrible. I heard my mother crying again, like she did after Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor and when he left the manor. My father was drinking fire whiskey silently. I was begging Kreacher to stop hurting himself. Kreacher kept banging his head as the young bad master had made his mistress upset. I felt useless, like I could never really change anything. Like I was just forced to watch.

I take in more of the potion. Heavy stomach cramps hit me. It was all my fault and I never seemed able to change anything. I could not even protect Kreacher, whom I considered family. Family were the people who claimed you as their own, that showed up, that stayed regardless. It just was not about blood relations. Kreacher was there when I was a kid. He played with me and told me to have dinner and when to take a bath and he talked lots to me. When Sirius left off to Hogwarts I had felt betrayed, then he even dared to get sorted into Gryffindor. It had been Kreacher who had taken the worst of the beating, I could not help but resent my brother for how selfish he was. Could he not understand that Kreacher would get hurt every time he bad-mouthed to mother, or every time he would flirt with some muggleborn or he'd talk trash about family?

I always tried to protect Kreacher. Kreacher never listened he just kept banging his head. He was my friend growing up. My parents had been busy. Mother was always holding social gatherings and only noticed me when I needed to sit more up straight or show off how properly I was raised. Father was almost always working at the ministry and Sirius, well we used to be close, but he had his new friends.

It is like my brain just rewired and I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over. I hear Kreacher banging his head, both in my mind and in the cave, he has more potion with him. I start to beg him not to give it to me and Kreacher's large, tennisbal-like eyes look at me with regret. Kreacher softly tells me it will soon all be over, that I just have to take a few more sips. I feel so thirsty and unwanted and cold.

I feel my arms burn as they did when I got branded. Bella was gleefully introducing me to all the higher-ranked deatheaters. The more I got in, the less I wanted it. I had been lucky to be able to be left out of most of the fighting. I hear the screams of the muggleborn. I had not been able to escape all of it. I had thought so wrongly that joining him would make it all better. Kreacher would never need to get hurt anymore as Sirius would never be able to hurt mother anymore, how could he if there would be no muggleborns anymore?

"Just one more," Kreacher encourages me. I swallow the vile fluid. Thirst is crippling me. I start begging for water, but Kreacher is unable to get me anything to drink. I start crawling towards the dark-looking lake. Kreacher is telling me to stay here, but I don't listen.

I feel something grab my arm, but I ignore it as I start to drink the water. I need more water I immediately know as I have never felt so thirsty in my life. I then start feeling the skeletal hand to drag me into the lake, but I don't care. I just really need to drink some water. What better place could I wish for than in the lake? Kreacher then starts to pull my leg and then heat is burning my skin. I had not realised how numb and cold my body had gotten.


	4. Chapter 4 Dumbledore

I am pulled back into the island. My teeth are shattering. "Please get up, Reg," Kreacher is begging me. I want to give up. Maybe it would have been better if.. But something about Kreacher calling me Reg instead of master makes me listen to me. Normally I would have to tell him to call me Reg and he would never listen. He would always say master or young mister Regulus.

I tried so hard to be good. To be liked. I stumble into something. I think my knee is bleeding. I am shivering from the cold, but at the same time an intense heat is burning away the hairs on my arm. I have never before felt like this. Like all hope was crushed. Maybe it would have been better if the inferi would have dragged me down. I am not good enough. I never was. I never would. I could not protect Kreacher. How many times had I just stood there watching the hous elf that practically raised me burn his hand on the stove or hit his head to the refrigerator?

And how could I ever live up to my families high standards? I was no Sirius. No one was proud when I got sorted into Slytherin. At least I did not humiliate them like my brother did. Still, I was the living reminder of my brother who could have made everyone so proud, who was so loved, who once cared for me, but who left us, who left me behind.

I tried so hard to make someone proud. For a moment I thought Bella would be. I did it, did I not? I feel my arm burning again. I hear the muggleborn scream. I see her large, scared eyes. Tears. Begging me. I can feel Bella smiling maliciously into my ear, whispering me to do it. I had wanted to apprentice as a healer, how could this also be a part of who I had become? What happened to first do no harm? How could I try so hard to do something good and to seek approval and end up doing that? I want the inferi to drag me under. I watch my surroundings through my tears. I am blinded by the fire. We are in the moving boat, almost back at the shore. I want to give the inferi my hand, but instead it burns as it touches the searing hot flames. It numbs all thoughts for a second as my mind is overcome with pain.

The boat stops moving and I feel myself being grabbed. "Idiot," Severus scolds me. "What did you touch the flames for, your hand will look mangled for a long time." I am being dragged out of the cave and all the heat that first engulfed me was gone. I had never felt so ice cold. Strong blows of air chilled me to the bone and ice cold sea water that aggressively collided with the rocks stung painfully on my body.

Next I am puking. My stomach is burning. We have just apparated to Spinners End.

I think Severus put a warming and drying spell on me, but I cannot stop shivering and can barely keep my head up. The scream won't stop. I had never wanted to hurt the women. I had been lucky to have been able to escape so much of the cruelties that were part of a Death Eater's job. I see the woman's eyes in front of me. I can see how her face contorts from pain, how I just keep focusing on the spell and try to let my mind wander as far from what is happening as possible. Only now I cannot dissociate, I cannot walk away from her cries and the pain in her eyes.

Kreacher is bawling. "I should have not let Master take the potion. It is my job to take care of little master. Young mister Regulus is too stubborn for his own good. Kreacher is not being a good house elf to his master. Master is too good for Kreacher. Regulus is too kind." It barely reaches me.

Severus is swearing, then comes to a decision as he starts scribbling a note furiously and calls his owl Artemis. I hear his owl hooting far, far away. I can barely imagine another reality than the one with the crying woman in front of me. Why had I been such a coward? Why had I wanted to belong? I can barely imaging this moment passing.

I feel Severus' long fingers grab my shoulder again. I feel like my stomach will explode as I am again puking. I am crying on hands and knees on a windswept hilltop. "Please don't kill us," Severus screams much later.

I look up into the eyes of Albus Dumbledore. Never would I have imagined to let anyone, especially not someone as the headmaster see me this vulnerable. I quickly forget what is happening as the potion drags me back to those begging eyes that clearly show pain. Far away I hear Severus and professor Dumbledore.

"Well Severus?" Dumbledore says impatiently. "What message does the Dark Lord have for me?"

"N-No message," Severus says. "I am here of my own account. I come here with a warning and a request."

Dumbledore looks with disgust at me. I can feel his eyes on me. I feel little conscious of my surroundings as I realise I am sitting in my own puke. "What request could two Death Eater make of me?"

I moan loudly, clutching my stomach and start begging for the muggleborn to not be in pain. "Master should've never drank evil potion," Kreacher bawls, "Kreacher should have never listened and just ironed his ears when master was safely home and have taken potion himself." Kreacher starts to bang his head at the ground. I weakly tell him to stop hurt himself. Dumbledore looks with pity at me and sharply looks at Severus. "What happened to your Death Eater friend?"

Severus looks extremely pale. "We stole something extremely precious from the Dark lord." He holds up the locket in his shaking hands. "He drank a drink of despair."

"And his hand?" Dumbledore shortly informed.

"Wizard's fire," Severus rushes to say. "I had to protect him from the inferi."

Dumbledore looked curiously at the locket. "And what is it that you stole from him? I cannot see him very attached to his belongings nor have something very precious."

"I think- It's a horcrux," Severus admitted.

Dumbledore looked shocked and for a moment he looked as old as his actual age. A dark look passed his face as he reached his hand out for the locket that he carefully studied. "How can I trust two Death Eaters? How can I know that you have truly defied him?"

"The prophecy- The prediction- Trelawney- at the pub- He thinks it refers to Lily," Severus rambles, as speech seemed to fail him. "You have to protect her."

Dumbledore frowns. "A the prophecy.. How much of it did you relay to the Dark Lord?"

"Everything," Severus admits. "As soon as I got back."

"However," Dumbledore continues. "It did not refer to a woman, it referred to a child."

"Yes," Severus agrees vehemently. "Her child. Lily's child. Please keep her safe." Then as an afterthought. "Keep them safe." The disgust in Dumbledore's eyes softened at those words. "I beg of you."

Dumbledore looked inquiringly at Severus. "You still care for a muggleborn? I thought you would think of her as beneath you?"

"Expecto Patronum," Severus yells.

Dumbledore gives a stiff nod.


	5. Chapter 5 Free man

My vision is slightly blurred. With a loud clatter the glass breaks against the wall. "You cannot continue this way," Severus chastises me angrily. "You've had enough firewhiskey for the rest of your life." I protest weakly.

Next I am in a forest. "Good, you're awake," Severus utters. "The dark lord thinks you're chickening out. Dear Bella is furious."

I groan. Then something else hits me. "Wait- so, I can't go back?"

"Back to what, Regulus?" Severus looks paler than usual and has grey circles under his eyes. "You want to go home to your mother or to dear Bella or to the loving Dark lord?" I grin. "Don't tell me you've lost your mind," Severus than says warily.

"No, this is good," I then say. "Everything will be just fine."

"How, Regulus?" Severus makes a deep cut in a large oak tree with a slash of his wand. "You can't even take care of yourself. Look at you! I don't have the time for this. I don't even know why I am still helping you."

I smirk at him. "Because you do care about people, even if you cannot admit it." I feel freed, like I have a choice again, like I can go down another path for once. "So I guess I am on the run, huh?"

Severus gives a sharp nod. "I have an errand to run for the dark lord, for god's sake don't drink and Kreacher will keep an eye on you the next days. You've got to keep up protective charms at all times, move every few days and try not to kill yourself."

"Thanks for the pep talk," I quip.

Severus glares at me. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but I expect to see you alive in a few days."

The past days Kreacher had checked in on me. I had not seen Severus at all. I felt agitated. I had no idea what was going on. Was the dark lord mortal again? How was mother and Sirius doing? How was the war going? Would Severus be able to find me with all these protective charms up?

I was drinking water. I would never have to bow down to the Dark lord again or do his bidding. I mean I would probably die horrendously painful while everyone thought me to be this huge coward, but for the first time I felt like a free man. I feel a sharp pain in my left arm. It is blackened and terribly burned and almost unrecognizable as an arm. I knew what the pain meant. It was the dark lord. He was angry, calling his followers to him. I feel my heart speed up. Did he know now? Was he missing his locket, or was something else going on?

I take a large gulp of the water. It did not matter what was happening I had to wait for Severus. He did arrive a few days later, Kreacher side-side-apparated him. He had a large gash on his cheek.


	6. Chapter 6 Order of the phoenix

"I talked to Dumbledore," Severus said. "I think you should join them."

"Who," I said.

"Their order that fights Voldemort," Severus scolded.

I felt uncomfortable. "No," I stammer. "No, that's insane. Like they'd trust a former death eater. I cannot join-." Could Severus honestly think I could just join Dumbledore's group? "Do you not know who is part of their group? Sirius will-"

Severus interrupts me. "Sirius will be more mercifully then Bella could ever be."

I shiver thinking of how Bella's reaction would be. "Still, Severus, this is ridiculous. I-"

"We do not have much time," Severus then says. With a wave of his wand all things fly into a small backpack that he easily picks up. "Dumbledore is waiting for you."

"What about you?" I say hastily.

Severus glares at me. "I am of much more use spying on our dear lord. You will not be seeing much of me." He does not listen as I tell him it is a bad idea and that we should stick together. He roughly side-apparates me to a hill. I look unsurely at professor Dumbledore. I had not seen him since I had graduated Hogwarts. Roughly Severus pushes me into Dumbledore's direction. I look into his bright blue eyes. "I had wanted to be a healer," I blurt out.

"A healer?" Professor Dumbledore muses.

I feel stupid that I said that. "When I just left Hogwarts, but then.. Now I am a death eater."

Dumbledore looks kindly at me. "But you defected."

"I have broken the first rule," I mutter to myself.

"You are no longer at Hogwarts," Dumbledore says. I must have spoken louder that my intention was. "I will not give you detentions with Filch for breaking a rule."

No," I say frustrated. "The healer's first rule: do no harm."  
"Ah," Dumbledore says, "I think that one would clash nicely with your former aspirations as a death eater." He gently grabs my shoulder. "I am going to side apparate you to our basis. I urge you to keep your wand down and have faith in me, people might not react kindly to your presence but I will ensure no harm will come to you."

I nod.

I am in a dimly lighted room. I see a lot of faces, many of which I had known from my years at Hogwarts. One immediately catches all my attention. Sirius. His face immediately changes as the full laughter quickly disappears. His fair skin suddenly looks gaunt and his grey eyes harden. "You," he bellows, looking between Dumbledore and me. "Finally caught my baby brother?" He sneers. "Could not wait to end up just like Bella, did you?"

I look to the ground. I feel hurt. I see Dumbledore calmly raising his hand. "Sirius, please," he says. "Regulus here has defected."

People begin muttering.

Moody looks distrustfully at me. "Did he now? How can you be sure?"

Dumbledore stands tall. "Regulus has my full trust. He has shown that he truly wants to defeat Voldemort to me, but I cannot tell you what has happened."

"You cannot tell me what has happened?" Sirius yells.

"Sirius, calm down," Potter says warily looking at me.

"NO, I will not calm down," Sirius says heatedly. "You cannot tell me to just trust him. I don't care what he has said to you. You always loved making mommy and daddy proud. You were the perfect son." You bastard. You broke mums heart. I never made them proud. How could I? I was not Sirius. "Always did what they wanted. Got sorted into Slytherin, befriended all the wrong people, Snivillus, Avery, Bella.." How could I not get sorted into Slytherin? After you pushed away all the pressure was on me. I had to make mother proud. And I had not wanted to see Kreacher go to so much pain for me, for something as stupid as getting sorted in a different house "I gave you a choice. You could have run away with me to the Potters. You did not have to grow up there, but you chose to." I could not have. I was sure of it. Mother would not accept both of her children to disappoint her. Besides I did not want to leave Kreacher. He had always been there for me. I barely knew the Potters and Sirius always ignored me. "I begged you at school to cut ties with Snivillus and Avery and Bella. No, I begged you and now I have to believe you just defected. Just like that." Potter is hugging Sirius.

"Sirius, I understand that this is difficult, but Regulus here has my full trust," Dumbledore says slowly. His declaration leaves no room for doubt nor for discussion.

Sirius is not yet giving up. "What did he do then? The last month all kinds of things went wrong. Or have you forgotten that we've lost the last battles we've fought or that Moody lost his eye and leg. Edgar Bones and his wife and three children dead! Benjy Fenwick was brutally murdered! And Caradoc Dearborne dissappeared last week and we just have to happily accept him?"

"I understand your frustration, Sirius," Dumbledore says calmingly. "We know someone is betraying us. This might make it ever harder for some of you to trust a death eater of all things. He did give us important information and help. There is a spy in our middle, Sirius, I cannot indulge this information and let it get to the wrong hands. Only Regulus can, it is his life that will be endangered."

"Good. Now that this is settled, let's start our meeting," Dumbledore cheerfully states.


	7. Chapter 7 Meeting

"I want to remind everyone that even in the darkest days hope can still be found if one simply remembers to turn on the light," Dumbledore starts the meeting, giving Sirius a significant glance. "The past days have been hard. Things seem to be rapidly changing. We have a new minister. Minchum has been removed due to his failure to end the war and has been replaced by Millicent Bagnold. Her insistence on harsher actions against Voldemort and his followers has been welcomed. She is already reshaping the ministry to help aid stopping the war."

A man, red hair, freckles, who I was sure was in Gryffindor once, spoke up. "My brother in law, Arthur, has been working triple shifts since she has been elected. He of course has had to clean up some things: obliviating muggles mostly, restoring destroyed buildings: St. Mungos half a year ago and the ministry twice, but now it's much worse. He barely works for his initial job."

"No kidding, they are working him like a house elf," the nearly identical man next to him comments.

"Anyway," the freckled man continues, "He has been expected to track some low-profile thought-to-be death eaters like Wilkes and Nott." The identical man sneers. "It's outrageous. Low-profile? Maybe smart enough to stay under the radar, but definitely dangerous." I feel myself nod. "Other times he has to work on protecting important muggles that are not important enough to be tracked by aurors or higher ministry workers. Though most of the time he has to obliviate muggles."

The identical man smiles grimly. "He hates that. Always worried on his spell-casting to be sloppy. The man has got his heart in the right place, you know? And he never had the training for it."

Dumbledore nods gravely. "Unfortunately," he says, "Our aurors have declined and cannot handle the workload they are facing. In a war not everyone can be spared. It is a rather keen solution. On an other note some of our members have been forced into hiding. James and Lily Potter as well as their son and Frank and Alice Longbottom along with their son have been moved to a safe house and today will be their last order meeting for this reason."

"I could still fight-" James Potter looks torn. A death glare from his wife shuts him up. "Or I will hide as we decided-" He then grabs his wife's hand tentatively. "Together."

"We have had some severe losses as Sirius already touched upon," Dumbledore then says, looking at every member, calmly and soberly. "There is a traitor in our midst and it is crucial that we find out who it is. I urge you all to keep an eye out for suspicious behaviour."

"No," James Potter immediately states. "We need to trust each other. Personally, I would entrust each of you with my life."

Dumbledore's eyes darken. He glances at Sirius for a second. "I hope you have not entrusted you and your family's lives in the wrong hands." I feel flabbergasted. Dumbledore thinks my brother is the traitor? "The giants are making an upmarch towards the north. A lot of muggles live there. We need a plan to.."

"How many?" Moody asks.

"A hundred and thirty five," Dumbledore states calmly. People start muttering.

Lily Potter then speaks. "Can't we convince some muggles there will be a heavy earthquake so they will flee to saver places?" Dumbledore looks unsure.

"I can do that," a women said.

"Good," Dumbledore nods, "Hestia will look into evacuating the muggles as we cannot fight the giants as the losses will be too high. Remus Lupin will be going on a mission next week as well." I looked at the pale, scarred man. He looked in no condition to go on a mission and I curiously waited on an explanation of his mission, but he merely continued. At the end of the meeting, Dumbledore told me I was to stay in the upper rooms of the headquarters and to keep others unaware of my presence. "If you find out anything suspicious, tell me, there is a traitor within the order." He adds.


	8. Chapter 8 Out in the open

The first few weeks passed by quietly. Looking back it was a perfect calm before the utter chaos the ensued. It was loud talking downstairs that caught my attraction. I cast an invisibility curse on myself and ran downstairs. Moody, one legged and missing an eye had gotten himself a new wound: freshly bleeding like an upbeat river. He looked grimly. "Attack on Hogsmead. Everyone is needed. Come quick and remember constant vigilance!" I saw everyone leave the room.

It was quiet when everyone had left the room. I feel stunned. Should I not help out as well? Dumbledore had told me to stay upstairs, I tell myself as I quickly make myself a cup of tea. Then a patronus comes in. Another one I see coming from farther away. The first message is short. "Send help. We are under attack. St. Ottery Catchpole, Panstreet 12, Devon." I recognize the voice of one of the redheaded twins. Then the other patronus starts speaking in the voice of a young woman I do not recognise. Also under attack. It only stated it was at the McKinnon family home.

I sigh. I could hardly stay back. I apparate to the twins home. With a quick slash of my wand I take out one of the death eaters, I guess I had the advantage of the surprise. I quickly start to duel with another death eater that I recognize as Thorfinn Rowle. "So you've got the nerve to show yourself in public? Bella is wanting to see you." I shiver at the threat.

I start fighting one of the other death eaters as well, not because I can easily handle two death eaters, but it seems to work. THe twins genuinly are creative duellers. One of them takes out one by transfiguring his mask into a sort of hanging rope that attaches his neck to a wooden bar and the other casts a cheering charm so strongly on one of the death eaters that he is incapicitated by hysterical laughter. The other death eater, quickly apparatus away.

I run to the twins. "Quick, the McKinnons."

The twins nod and apparate us to more chaos. The twins immediately engage into battle with a few death eaters, taking one of them out quickly by surprise. I feel a shiver down my spine. "Regulus, how good to see you," Bella purrs. She walks towards me as a lion walks towards a wounded antelope. She quickly shoots a nasty looking curse at me. I feel cold sweat. Now concentrate, I tell myself firmly, or it is the last thing you'll ever do.


	9. Chapter 9 Bella

I am sweating. I have no idea how the twins or the McKinnons are. Bella fires curse after curse. "I hope you are not eager to die, little nephew," she whispers gloatingly. "How silent you are. Is little Reggie scared? Did poor Reggie chicken out of serving our Lord?" I swallow.

I am breathing harshly. "I betrayed him."

"You dared betraying the dark lord." As an afterthought she adds: "Your family." Her eyes darken. She breaks a nearby tree that is now heading down right towards me. I cannot jump aside as there are nasty-looking curses flying around. "You dare besmirch the noble name of Black."

Then as a last resort I scream: WIngardium leviosa. It is floating just above my head. New curses are already coming my way. I throw the tree before me as a shield. Pieces of wood fly in all directions as if someone has used a confetti cannon and I realise she must have fired a bombarda. I throw in some curses as well now. "I do," I gloat.

I realise my mistake immediately. Pain is taking over my body. I am convulsing from pain. I manage a weak expelliarmus that she easily deflects. "Crucio," she screams elated. My wand falls out of my hand as the muscles are contracting painfully and I no longer can hold it tightly. I can think of nothing more than the pain.

It suddenly stops. I stop screaming and feel my lungs burn painfully with each breath in and out. I try to look for my wand but I see black floating in and out of my vision. It still burns. Bella is looking surprised at the deep cut in her neck and chest and is than dragged along with another death eater. They apparate away.

I recognize red hair as a man kneels down next to me and helps me stand up. He apparates me as a pain is taken over my body and mind. Then I pass out.


	10. Chapter 10 Sirius

I must have passed out. Sirius is sitting in a chair next to my bed. He is looking far from elegant snoring with his mouth open. James Potter is smiling at me. "You saved Marly. All of them are alright, thanks to you." I let out a groan. "She mangled you up pretty badly though," he adds cheerfully. "You are kinda like mad-eye now."

I wince. "I lost an eye!" I squeak.

"No," James chuckles. "You'd notice that right off the bat, wouldn't you? She sliced off your wand arm. It was pretty deep even cut into your chest a little. You lost a lot of blood and your arm has not been apparated along." I look at the wooden hand that is now substituting my hand. Leaves are growing from it. "Dumbledore made that. He couldn't get the wand alive and listening to you without those leaves growing on them, so you'll have to get used to that."

"This is a prank," I cut him off.

James shakes his head. "Sorry mate. Anyway Dumbles wanted someone to stay with Sirius as he can do stupid things when he is upset. He was really upset when he saw you bleeding all over the place."

"Geez thanks," I mutter sarcastic.

"You know, we should wake him up," James says.

I am however thinking. Why would Dumbledore tell someone to watch over Sirius visiting me? "Have- well you know, others visited?"

James frowns in confusion. "Who'd you want to visit you? Aren't they all death eaters?"

"That is enough," a voice then interrupts calmly. I look at him. Dumbledore is smiling brightly at me. "You have been very brave, Regulus. And you have had plenty of visitors: the twins, their sister Molly, the McKinnons as well."

"Did you want someone to stay with them as well," I then blurt out curiously.

Dumbledore looks surprised. "I thought Sirius could be in need of a strong shoulder." He nodded at James. "I hope you are not feeling too much pain and that your new hand serves you well. We found you in a dire situa-"

"You," Sirius then loudly exclaims. I look gobsmacked at him "You are awake."

"Breathing and well," Dumbledore says calmingly.

Sirius then suddenly looks shy and uncomfortable. "I guess I can go then. I am glad you are alright." He seemed stiff and incredibly formal.

Dumbledore nods. "Go." He seems pleased.

James however is frowning and keeps standing. "Don't run away, idiot. He's your brother, you said so yourself, and he almost died and then the last thing he remembered of you would be you yelling after him." James chides, he seems genuinely angry. "Apologise. Talk to him. Act like you are something that resembles being brothers instead of mere strangers."

"James," Dumbledore says. "I think this is something that has to be resolved between the two brothers. If Sirius wants to go then that is alright. Sometimes people need a little more time." He was stroking his beard as if he was saying I am older than you so I know better.

James however did not budge. "Sirius is my brother. I heard what he said. I know him. I don't know why you want me around Sirius when he visits Regulus, but he's not going to hex his brother. He does not need time. He needs to stop being an insufferable idiot and face the fact that life is messy and hurtful and people can slap you in the face and that sometimes that still means you have to accept them back, because they are family. He always hides and tries to run away when people come close to avoid being hurt, that doesn't mean it is right."

Dumbledore looked annoyed. "You are meddling with things you don't understand."

"Sirius can stay," I then blurt out. Dumbledore looks suprised and then nods and walks away. I cannot ignore his worried look. I am now certain that he thinks Sirius is the traitor. James soon after leaves, still frustrated from his collision with Dumbledore.

I look at my brother. He is smiling uncertainly at me. "We could play chess?"

I smile. "We both know that will end up with you screaming murder and trowing the chess pieces through the room. That's a horrible idea. Then Dumbledore will never allow you in."

Sirius snorts. "I can't help it you are this little, boasting prat when you are winning a stupid little game."

I smirk. "Chess is not stupid. It requires strategy and intelligence."

"Boring," Sirius half-coughs.

I snort. "We could play quidditch."

"No, you still look mangled," Sirius chides.

"It would be fun," I offer. "I would play seeker and try to catch the snitch and you will try to hurl as many bludgers my way as is humanly possible."

Sirius is now laughing loudly. "Dumbledore would kill me. A good thing mother never saw that.."

I smirk. "If she were a second behind the corner you'd start pelting me with bludgers, at least I was more than a decent quidditch player at Hogwarts."

Sirius is smirking proudly. "And I never stopped pelting you with bludgers."

"I feel the love," I say. I stifle a yawn.

Sirius notices it. "You should sleep."

"No," I object, but I see a stubborn look in his eyes and I decide that maybe a little sleep is not so bad. I lay back. Thoughts are flying through my mind. So Dumbledore thought Sirius was the traitor, did that mean it was one of them? That the traitor was Remus or Peter or Potter? It could not be my brother who had opposed so loudly against even his own family. Who had left me. It had to be Remus or Peter. Remus was strange. Always looking sickly pale at Hogwarts and that Peter had always followed Sirius and James around like a lost puppy. I thankfully close my eyes. Thoughts now leave me as a heavy drowsiness appears. Darkness is washing over me.


End file.
